THE APPEARANCE AND DESIGN OF BUSINESS MESSAGE

The Appearance and Design of Business Message

Composing the Messages

You have gone through the planning steps. You are ready to compose. Composing is the process of drafting your message. Your first draft is a bit difficult to write. But at least you have brought the most important information on paper. If you have time, look for opportunities to improve your ideas. When you feel confident that you can achieve your propose, begin to write. 

While composing the message, no two people do it the same way. Some people follow the outline and move from one point to another. Other go in a more circular style, putting their ideas down in less fixed organization. The best equipment available nowadays is a computer which allows you to make changes.

Style is the way you use words to achieve a certain overall impression. The right choice depends on the nature of your message and your relationship with the reader.

Revising your Message

If possible, let your writing “Cool off” for a while before you begin to evaluate and revise. In this process you add necessary information and remove unnecessary one. You also look at the organizational approach    and check all seven Cs in it. Besides, ask the following questions to yourself:

    1. Does your message accomplish its purpose?

    2. Have you chosen the most effective organizational plan?

    3. Are your points supported by adequate material?

    4. Is your language complete, concise, considerate, concrete, clear, courteous, and correct?

    5. Have you used variety in your sentence structures?

Editing & proofreading you Messages

Editing means revising your message that is still in a rough draft. It not only involves correct spelling, grammar, punctuation and similar errors but also means much more. Editing requires looking at a written message critically to see if revising the content will improve it. Proofreading means checking the final copy to make sure that it is free from errors.

Editing your message also means checking all paragraphs for good topic sentences and sound structure, grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Sometimes, you will proofread your document several times to be sure that you have not missed any errors. Even minor mistakes, such as typographical errors, can reduce the effectiveness of your message and undermine your credibility.

Those, writing in a second language, can take one more step in proofreading the material. Read your written material aloud. Most people who speak a second language are more competent in oral communication in their second language than in written.

If you identify weaknesses in these areas and correct them, you will be making the finishing touches which ensure that your written communication will be as close to perfection as possible.

The Appearance and Design of Business Messages

The electronic revolution is changing the way we communicate, and these changes include formats and conventions of written communication. In the more traditional forms of written communication, your receiver will form an impression of you based on the overall appearance and format of the message. The medium used most often for written messages to person outside your organization is business letters. Elements of appearance that help produce favorable reactions are appropriate stationery and correct letter parts and layouts.

Business Messages

Stationery & Envelopes

A good company uses a paper which is most often at least 25 percent cotton content. Its quality is usually 20-pound weight. The standard size is 8½ by 11 inches. Some legal firms use 8½ by 14 inches. The colour should be white, cream, or light gray.

Letterhead

A letterhead is a printed paper with the name and address of a person or an organization. Modern letterheads usually occupy no more than 2 inches at the top of the page. Letterhead information should include the name, address, telephone number, etc. Sometimes nature of business and name of department are also included.

Envelope

Return addresses of the senders, often printed like the letterhead or, if necessary, typewritten, should be in the upper left corner of the envelope. Address should always be typed in block form with all lines aligned. Information in the address should be listed in the following order: 

1. Name & title of the receiver

2. Name of the department

3. Name of  the Organization

4. Name of building (if relevant)

5. Street address & Flat number or post box number.

6. City, state & zip code or postal code.

7. Country (if outside the country)

Standard Parts of the Letter

Most business letters have the following parts:

1. Heading

2. Date           

3. Inside address

4. Salutation

5. Body

6. Complimentary close

7. Signature

8. Reference Section

Standard Parts of the Letter

1. Heading

A heading shows where the letter comes from. If letterhead stationery is not used, the address, not your name, is typed above the date 2 inches from the top.

2. Date

Usually the date is typewritten two to six lines below the last line of the letterhead. Date sequence preferred in America is month, day, year - March 6, 1998 - with the month spelled out. Others prefer day, month, and year –6 March, 1998. Date in figures - 3/5/98- should be avoided as it can create confusion.

3. Inside Address

The inside address should begin with the addressee’s name preceded by a courtesy and/or professional title. It is written two spaces below the date on the left hand margin. The order of items are:

            (1) Courtesy title,          (2) Name, and,

            (3) Executive or professional title, if any

All parts are typed single-spaced.

Mr. Ahmed Hassan, Principal,

Government College,

Lahore

4. Salutation

Salutation is typed two spaces below the inside address and two spaces above the body of the letter. It is an expression of courtesy to put your reader in a friendly frame of mind. The following salutations are

	For Men	For Women
Most Formal:	Sir,	Madam,
Formal:	My dear Sir,	My dear Madam,
Less Formal:	Dear Sir,	Dear Madam,
	My dear Mr. Khan,	My dear Mrs. Khan,
Friendly:	My dear Haleem,	My dear Mah Noor,
	Dear Naeem,	Dear Sara,

A comma or colon should be used after the salutation. Gentlemen should be used in writing to a company, organization or any group of men and women. “Mesdames’ ‘or’ Ladies’ should be used when writing to an organization made up entirely of women.

5. Body

Most letters are typed single-spaced, with two spaces between paragraphs, before and after the salutation and before the complimentary close. A short letter could be double-spaced with additional blank line spaces before and after the date and within the signature area. When second page is used, addressee’s name, page number and date are written at the top. 

6. Complimentary Close Body

If the letter begins with a formal salutation (Sir, Dear Sir) it will close with “Yours faithfully”.   

If it begins with a personal name Dear Mr. Khan, it will close with “Yours sincerely”,” your truly” or “cordially”.

Informal closes as Warm regards, Best regards/wishes are also used. A comma is used after complimentary close.

It is related to the salutation, so the same degree of formality should be used in it. e.g.,

Salutation	Complimentary Close
Dear sir,	Yours sincerely,
Dear Madame,	Yours sincerely,
Sir,	Yours respectfully,

It is written two spaces below the last line of the body. In full block format, it is written on the left hand side of the page.

7. Signature

Always type your name after the handwritten signature and the position in the firm. It is better to give courteous title (Mr, Miss, etc.) to avoid confusion. A letter should always be signed in INK.

Very truly yours,

 Ahmed Hassan

(Mr) Ahmed Hassan

General Manager.

Four spaces should be given between the complimentary close and name.

8. Reference Section

The reference section may include information about the message composer, the typist, and sometimes word processing data. Only initials are used. They are typed two spaces below the name and positions of the person signing the letter.

AS / mb

It means Ahmed Shibly composed the message and Mahmood Bilal typed the letter

Optional Parts of the Letter

            When appropriate, any of these optional parts can be included:

            1.  Attention line

            2. Subject Line

            3.  Enclosure(s)

            4. Copy Notation

            5.  File or Account number and mailing notation

            6.  Postscript

1.  Attention line

To send a letter direct to a person or department, attention line is used especially when we don’t know a particular person or know only the person’s surname. Attention line is written between the inside address and salutation two spaces below and above respectively.

2. Subject Line

It helps the reader to know at a glance what the letter is about. The subject line may include or omit the word subject. It is placed below the salutations. It may be started from left hand margin or indented. The typing may be capitals or lowercase and underlined or all capitals. For example;

Subject: Monthly Report

3.  Enclosure(s)

An enclosure or attachment notation is included to remind the reader to check for additional pages of information. The enclosure is typed single or double space below the reference initials.

4. Copy Notation

When persons other than the addressee will receive a copy of the message, it is noted by writing ‘C’, ‘PC’, ‘Copy’  or ‘CC’ followed by the names of these persons just below the reference initials or the enclosure notation.

5.  File or Account number and mailing notation

File or account number and Mailing Notation to aid in filing that file, loan, or account number are typed above the body of the letter.

6.  Postscript

Sometimes an extra message is added at the end of a letter. It may be something important or some personal comment. Write'PS’or'PS’and leave two spaces before the first word of the postscript. 

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PROCESS OF PREPARING EFFECTIVE BUSINESS MESSAGES

Process of Preparing Effective Business Messages

1.      Choose the ideas to include.

While answering a letter, one can underline the main points to discuss and get the ideas briefly on a pad. If one is writing unsolicited or a complex message, one can begin by listing ideas as they come to mind. Then most important facts can be changed into message. It is better that the message written to welcome a customer should have other incentives or policies what the firm offers.

* Consider your reader’s viewpoint (be in his place)

* Read company’s document

* Talk with your colleagues, customer etc.

* Ask your audience for input

4. Collect all the facts to back up these ideas.

After the main ideas, the writer/speaker should ask himself what specific facts, updated figures or quotations he needs. The knowledge of the company’s policies, procedures, and product details is necessary for an effective communication. A brochure, table picture, or product sample is also useful to enclose.

Find out and be sure about the following:

·         be sure the information is accurate

·         be sure the information is ethical

·         be sure the information is pertinent

·         select appropriate channel

5. Outline – organize – your message:

The order in which the ideas are to be presented is as important as the ideas themselves. Disorganized writing reflects disorganized, illogical thought process or careless preparation. Choose the organizational plan after the purpose has been finalized collecting all necessary facts. Ask yourself: “How will the reader or listener react to these ideas?”

Direct (Deductive) Approach:

When you think that your audience will be interested in what you have to say or willing to cooperate with you, you can use the direct or deductive plan to organize your message. It means you present request or the main idea in the beginning, which follows up necessary details and then you close your message with a cordial statement of action you want. We use this approach when the request requires no special tact or persuasion. Close to direct request is good-news plan that is used to grant requests, announce favorable or neutral information and exchange routine information within or between organizations. Look at the outline of direct organizational plans and good-news plan.

Basic Organizational Plans:

Direct-Request Plan

1.  State the request or main idea.

2. Give necessary desirable details for easy reading.

3. Close with a cordial request for specific action.

Look at the following letter which is a request to the seller and requires no special tact or persuasion.

Dear Sir,

    We intend to purchase a new office copier. We would like to consider a BHP copier and wonder if you have a model that would suit our needs.

    Our office is small, and a copier would generally be used by only three secretaries. We run approximately 3,000 copies a month and prefer a machine that uses regular paper. We rarely need to run off more than 25 copies at any one time.

    We would also like to know about your warranty and repair service. We hope to hear from you soon.

Yours truly,

Good-News Plan

1.  Best news or main idea.

2. Explain necessary and desirable details with any helpful material.

3. End positively and friendly stating clearly the desired action and offering any further help. Give date of action if necessary.

An example having main idea in the beginning:

Dear Mr. Gul,

   In a courier service, I am sending you six copies of our catalog, “Prime Gifts”. I am very pleased that you want to circulate it.

   The catalog explains everything but I do want to say that for quantities of 20 or more gifts we offer an attractive discount.

    Please let me know if I can be of help in other ways.

          

     Yours cordially,

Supplying Detailed Information on a Service though the writer is complaining, the letter has a direct-request plan.

Gentlemen,

   

Please repair or replace my calculator watch, Model C863, and send it to me at the address above.

    

   After six months of use, the musical alarm has quit working.

 

   Enclosed is my watch, a copy of the sales receipt showing the date of purchase and your warranty which guarantees material and workmanship for one year.

                                                                        Yours Sincerely,

Another example of direct request plan is:

Dear Mr. Hafiz,

    I am delighted to know that you are interested in our Executive Book Club and am happy to answer your questions about it.

    

Between 30 and 40 new books in the field of management are made available each year to the members of the Executive Book club and, as you have mentioned, the topics treated very widely. From four to six of these belong to personnel administration; in addition, a similar number of general management books carry some aspects of personnel management.

 

Although we have several specialized book clubs but there isn’t yet one in personnel administration. Considering the increasing demand, it is possible that we will one day establish a club in personnel. Certainly, there is a growing interest in this field.

 The Circular enclosed contains complete information about the Executive Book Club. Please note that the average price of books distributed by the club, if purchased separately, is about Rs.300. However, as a member, you would pay only about three-fourth of that amount.

 I do hope you will want to become a member of the Executive Book Club, Mr. Hafiz. You can do so by filling out the coupon on the back of the circular.

 

    Yours truly,

Indirect or Inductive Organizational Plan: 

Indirect (Inductive) Approach:

 If you think that your message might upset your reader or listener, you use the indirect plan to ease your audience into the part of your message that shows you are fair-minded and eager to do business with him on some other terms. This approach consists of four parts:

	Organizational  Plan Bad-News Plan
1	Buffer (using positive, pleasant rather than negative statement.
2	Explanation (reader’s benefit, reasons supporting the negative decision)
3	Decision (expressed or implied in clear but tactful manner)
4	Helpful, friendly and positive stressing on goodwill

Beginnings & Endings

Dear Mr. Hassan,

You are right to expect high-quality merchandise from The Automatic Door Company; we try to give you the best for your money and to stand behind our products when they fail as a result of defects in material and workmanship, as our warranty states.

We appreciate your sending the door opener to us for analysis. It appears that the opener has got wet. Excess moisture over a period of time causes this defect.

Our service manager estimates that cleaning and repairing your door opener would cost Rs. 250.

Since your door opener is several years old, you may want to consider buying a new one. We have made many improvements to our door openers since yours was manufactured, including a sealed circuit board that would prevent the possibility of damage from moisture. A new door opener, which costs Rs. 3500.00 postpaid, should give you even longer service than your old one did.

Please let us know whether you want us to repair or replace your opener.

Yours sincerely,

Persuasive Request Plan

As good-news plan is similar to direct-request plan, so is persuasive plan to bad-news plan. Persuasion is the attempt to change a reader’s attitude, beliefs or action in your favour. This plan is used to influence the readers who may resist otherwise. One way to organize persuasive messages is the AIDA plan, which is of four stages:

1. Attention     2. Interest        3. Desire          4. Action

In the attention stage, you convince the reader that you have something interesting or useful for him. In interest stage, you explain how your message is related to your reader. In the desire stage, you provide relevant evidence to prove your claim drawing attention to any enclosures. In the action stage, you close the message with an action ending that suggests a specific action the reader may take.   

Beginnings & Endings

THE FIRST PUNJAB LIBRARY

Muslim Town Lahore.

Dear Friend,

The most comprehensive selection of Quaid-e-Azam’s speeches, public writings, and private letters ever published!

   YOURS FOR JUST RS.500

   Quaid-e-Azam was not only the founder of Pakistan but also a great orator.

   Here are all of Quaid’s speeches, from the early days in his politics, including all his addresses to the students of different institutions. It includes Quaid’s personal and political correspondence.

   Above all, here is Quaid’s absolutely distinctive language, resonant with dignity, wit, and the uniquely patriot flavour.

   Write today for your copy of the book. You’ll be awfully glad.

Sincerely yours,

The way you begin your message makes it clear whether your reader will respond favorably or unfavorably to the message. When you are sure that your message has something favorable or neuter for the reader, you must begin your message with the main idea or good-news in the beginning. The opening must be impressive in a way that it captures the attention of the reader. So always choose appropriate openings that suit the purpose of your message. The following openings are desirable in direct-request, good-news and neutral messages.  

Main Idea:  The goods which you ordered on March 5 have been sent to you by passenger train.

Request: So that your order can be filled promptly, please send another copy of the requisition.

Announcement: Now you can take an air – conditioned coach from Lahore to Islamabad any hour.

Whenever required, employ 5Ws and one H to give clarity to your messages.

Buffer: If you have bad news, begin your message with a buffer. A buffer is a statement, that helps you bring your reader in a positive frame of mind, and the message becomes readable for the reader. But “Buffer” should be neutral in tone. You should also avoid misleading the reader into thinking that the message is good.

Poor: It is impossible to open your account unless you send us the following information.

With buffer: The moment you send us the following information your account will be opened.

Poor:  We never exchange damaged goods.

With buffer: We are happy to exchange the merchandise that is returned to us in good condition.

 

In persuasive request (sales letter), begin the message with an attention-getting statement. An experienced writer uses some common technique to attract the reader. Consider some of attention-getting statements:

A challenge: Don’t waste another day wondering how you’re going to become the success you’ve always wanted to be!

The writer should avoid using trite and stereotyped expressions. Make your openings considerate, courteous concise, and clear. Keep your first paragraph short and use simple conversational language. Never open your letter with an incomplete sentence like:

Reference to your letter of March 6 regarding opening of a current account.

Make opening specific

Poor: Thank you for your order.

Specific:          Thank you for you order for 200 writing pads.

Close Paragraph

An effective ending will motivate the reader to act as requested. If no direct request is required, leave the reader with some expression of regard, assurance, appreciation or willingness to help. Always remember that closings should be strong, clear and polite. They should leave a sense of closure and goodwill with the receiver.

1. Make your request clear and complete with Five Ws and the H.

2. Include your phone number and extension if you want the reader to phone you.

3. Enclose a form (card, order, blank, or questionnaire) and an addressed reply envelope (perhaps with postage paid) if you want the reader to furnish something.

4. Give complete instructions regarding how and where if you do not include a form and envelope.

5. State your office hours and location if you want the reader to come to you in person. Do you have a free parking lot? Where?

1. Make Action Clear

Vague: I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter.

Better: So that we can make appropriate arrangements for your visit, please call me at 541000, before Friday, November 16, anytime between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M.

2. End on a Positive, Courteous Thought

Include Any Apologies and Negatives Before Last Paragraph. Study these examples 

Negative: I’m sorry we can’t be more encouraging at this time.

Positive: We wish you success in your search for a position.

Be Friendly:  Offer to help the reader further, if that is appropriate. Words like please or will you help soften commands.

Good: If there is any further way we can assist you please call 555-4567 Monday through Friday between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M.

Avoid: Thank you in advance for distributing these questionnaires to your employees.

Say: I will appreciate your distributing these questionnaires to your employees.

Give my regards to your lovely family. I enjoyed meeting them during the October conference.

3. Keep Last Paragraph Concise and Correct

Trim your last paragraph to five or fewer lines of complete sentences. Avoid unnecessary repetition.

In short letters, the writer often gives his message and stops without any special formality: Make your opening and closing paragraph shorter than average because the most important location in a letter is the opening. The second most important is the closing. 

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INDIVIDUAL CULTURAL VARIABLES

Individual Cultural Variables

Food

It may be a good idea prior to visiting your host country to visit various ethnic restaurants in your home country. Then you’ll have an initial idea as to the kinds of foods available: how they are served, fixed or eaten.

Perceptions of Food

a. Are you aware of the eating habits of your hosts?

b. Are there table conventions you should be aware of?

c. Are there foods you might find disagreeable?

Acceptable Dress

It is better to ask about the mode of dress for an occasion in your host country than to risk making an embarrassing mistake.

In most American businesses, men wear the business suit whereas women wear dressed or tailored suits.

Some British people might still wear the bowler along with a dark suit and carry an umbrella.

In Middle East long cotton coat are acceptable.

Perception of Dress

a. How much skin may be exposed in both an informal and in a formal situation?

b. Are certain colors disturbing?

c. Will the Western attire be accepted?

Manners

Knowing manner is also very important. Children shake your hand in Germany, hug you in Italy, and often stay in the background in Pakistan/India. In fact, the ritual of the greeting and the farewell is more formal many countries with children and adults. You avoid gifts of red roses in Germany or white chrysanthemums in France, Belgium and Japan.

Be prepared to sit close together in Asia. In Saudi Arabia, sons defer to their fathers and at the heart of their system is the family.

Perceptions of Manners

a. What is the protocol regarding the introduction of persons in a business situation?

b. What are the “rules” of gift giving?

Individual Cultural Variables

Decision Making

Patience – above all – is needed in intercultural communication, in doing business with other countries. Americans are typecast as moving too quickly in asking for a decision. Give more thought to inductive communication.

American are accused of being brusk, curt, impolite; they wish to get to the point – fast, “Getting down to business” is a trait of the western culture. The Germans, Singaporeans, Swiss, Dutch, and Scandinavians are similar, quickly getting to the issue. Chinese, Pakistani, French, and British prefer more pleasuring social amenities.

In Japan, decision time is held back as group consensus moves toward a decision.

Ringi process (stamps of approval by many people on a proposal)

Your understanding of the decision process – adds to your success in dealing with foreign business people.

Perceptions of decision making

a. Is the pattern for making decisions consistent from one company to another?

b. Is placement of the major decision maker consistent in meeting situations?

c. Is an inductive or a deductive pattern of decision making preferred?

Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

A kind of verbal sparring occurs when strangers meet each other, seeking to determine which topics are acceptable and uncontroversial. The tone of voice of one’s initial words can influence your initial perception of whether the meeting is positive or negative. For example, ‘see you later’ can mean the same day to the Asian workers or some indefinite time in the future to the Americans.

Arabs are loud and some Japanese use little volume. Cantonese demand more volume to suggest changes in word meaning

A. Accept cultural differences

1. Studying your own culture

2. Learn about other cultures through books, articles, videos, and other resources.

3. Encourages employees to discuss their culture’s customs

4. Avoid being judgmental

5. Create a formal forum to teach employees about the customers of all cultures represented in the firm reader’s forum.

6. Train employees to see and overcome ethnocentric stereotyping.

B. improve oral and written communications

1. Define the terms people need to know on the job

2. Emphasize major points with repetition and reap.

3. Use familiar words whenever possible.

4. Be concise.

5. Don’t cover too much information at one time.

6. Adjust your message to employees’ education level.

7. Be specific and explicit – using descriptive words, exact measurements, and examples when possible.

8. Give the reason for asking employees to follow a certain procedure and explain what will happen if the procedure is not followed.

9. Use written summaries and visual aids (when appropriate) to clarify your points.

10. Demonstrate and encourage the right way to complete a task, use a tool, and so on.

11. Reduce language barriers: Train managers in the language of their employees, train employees in the language of most customers and of most people in the company, ask bilingual employees to serve as translators, print important health and safety instructions in as many languages as necessary.

C. Access how well you’ve been understood

1. Research the nonverbal reactions of other cultures; then be alert to facial expressions and other nonverbal signs that indicate confusion or embarrassment.

2. Probe for comprehension.

3. Encourage employees to ask questions in private and in writing.

4. Observe how employees use the information you’ve provided, and review any misunderstood points.

D. Offer feedback to improve communication

1. Focus on the positive by explaining that should be done rather than what shouldn’t be done.

2. Discuss a person’s behaviors and the situation, rather than making a judgment about the person.

3. Be supportive as you offer feedback, and reassure individuals that their skills and contribution are important

A Kind of verbal sparring occurs when we judge people to a great extent by their voice. Some native languages demand many tonal variations, giving the impression to a nonnative of loudness, even arrogance. 

A Myriad of nonverbal symbols exists for every culture, even in subcultures. Knowing the major desirable and undesirable cues helps knowing both intended and unintended communication errors.

Process of Preparing Effective Business Messages

While preparing a written or an oral business message, you need to plan, organize, compose, edit and revise it. The message must also be proofread and corrected before it is mailed. Apart from the steps mentioned above the writer must take care of seven C qualities and also of legal aspect. Careful preparation of communication is important, even if the writer / speaker has the modern technology. The basic planning steps are as follows:

Five Planning Steps

Before writing a message, the following steps are necessary for effective communication.

1. Define the purpose of the message.

2. Analyze your audience – readers or listeners.

3. Choose the ideas to include.

4. Collect all the facts to back up these ideas.

5. Outline – organize – your message.

1.      Define the purpose of the message.

a. General Purpose

General purpose is to inform, to persuade, to collaborate with your audience. This deters the amount of audience participation and amount of control your have over your message.

To inform: you control is high you inform you need with interaction. Audience absorbs or rejects the information

To persuade: you require a moderate amount of participation / moderate amount of control.

To collaborate: with audience you need maximum participation / you control is minimal.

b. Specific purpose

Specific purpose is the purpose for which you are going to write a letter. For example for seeking information or answering some inquiry or what kind of letter you are going to write. So you must know:

Is you purpose realistic?

Is this the right time?

Is the right person delivering the message?

Is your purpose acceptable to you organization?

2.      Analyze your audience – readers or listeners

It is very important to write the message to the recipient’s views and needs. You might or might not have met the recipient. It is better to visualize the individual. Try to picture that person – business or professional person or labourer, superior (boss) colleague, or subordinate, man or woman, new or longtime customer, young, middle-aged, or elderly client. Also, consider the person’s educational level, attitudes, and so on. If the message is for many people, try to find some common characteristics. In all communications, the areas must be considered on which the recipient is likely to be well informed or uniformed, pleased or displeased, positive, negative, or neutral, interested or uninterested and unreceptive.

Ask yourself some key question about your audience

1. Who are they?

2. What is their probable reaction to your message?

3. How much do they already know about the subject?

4. What is their relationship to you?

Audience profile

1. Who is your primary audience?

2. How big is your audience?

3. What is your audience’s composition?

4. What is your audience’s level of understanding?

5. What is your audience’s probable reaction?

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CORRECTNESS

Correctness

The correctness principle is more than proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. A message may be perfect grammatically and mechanically but still lose a customer and fail to achieve the purpose. Though mistakes are never intentional, they spoil our image. Errors in the messages fall in the following categories:

• Mistakes in names, figures, facts, and words.
• Mistakes in punctuation and capitalization
• Mistakes in the level of Language

1. Mistakes in names, figures, facts, and words

•        Any mistakes in names, figures, facts, etc, can make your message unclear. Such mistakes can also create problems for you. Imagine if you write 2000 where you were supposed to write 200. A good check of data is having another person to read and comment on the validity of material.

In order to avoid such mistakes one can include figures and facts like as follows:

• Verify your statistical data
• Double-check your totals
• Avoid guessing of laws that have an impact on sender or receiver
• Determine whether a fact have changed over a time.

Other factor is the inclusion of words. Confusion should be avoided, for example.

 Example 1: Accept-Except: Here accept means to receive and except means to omit.

Example 2: Biannually-Biennially: Biannually means 2 times a year and biennially means every 2 years.

2. Mistakes in punctuation and capitalization:

        

Such mistakes in mechanics can also create confusion in the mind of the reader. In today’s world writing has been easier since spell-checkers and various kinds of word formatting are available.

3. Mistakes in the level of Language.

There are two types of writings: formal and informal. In formal writing, our style is unconversational. In informal writing, we use words that are short, familiar and conversational.

•        A formal style is characterized by more complex sentences.

•        An informal style is characterized by Short words and sentences

            (Thanks a lot for your letter).

•        Contraction & Abbreviations (I haven’t, there’s) simple words are example of levels of language.

A few examples of formal language. 

Reminder:

• Avoid substandard language.

Substandard and More Appropriate

• Using incorrect words, incorrect grammars, faulty pronunciation all suggest inability to use good English. 

Conciseness

Conciseness is saying what you want to say in the fewest possible words without sacrificing the other C qualities. A concise message is complete without being wordy. A concise message saves time and expense for both the sender and the receiver. It increases emphasis in the message. It shows respect for the recipient, by not cluttering them unnecessary information.

To achieve conciseness, observe the following suggestions.

• Eliminate wordy expressions

• Include only relevant material

• Avoid unnecessary repetition

Eliminate wordy expressions

  

1)Use single-word substitutes instead of phrases whenever possible without changing meaning.

Wordy : At this time

Concise : Now

Wordy : Due to the fact that

Concise : because

Wordy : have need for

Concise : Need

Wordy : In due course

Concise : Soon

2)Omit trite, unnecessary expressions

Wordy  : Please be advised that your admission statement has been received.

Concise : Your admission statement has been received.

3)Replace wordy conventional statements with concise ones.

Wordy : Please find attached the list you requested.

Concise : The list you requested is attached.

4)Replace wordy conventional statements with concise ones.

Wordy : Such refreshing comments are few   and far between.

Concise : Such refreshing comments are scarce. 

5)Avoid overusing empty phrases.

Wordy : There are four rules that should be observed.

Concise : Four rules must be observed.

6)Avoid overusing empty phrases.

Wordy : It was known by Mr.. Usman that we must reduce size our inventory.

Concise : Mr.. Usman knew we must reduce our inventory.

7)Omit “which” and “that” clause where ever possible.

Wordy : She bought desks that are of the executive type.

Concise : She bought executive type desks. 

Wordy : The receipt that is enclosed documents your purchase.

Concise : The enclosed receipt documents your purchase.

8)Eliminate unnecessary prepositional phrase.

Wordy : The issue of most relevance is teamwork.

Concise : The most relevant issue is teamwork.

Wordy : In most cases the date of the inquiry is indicated in the upper right corner.

Concise : The policy date is in the upper right corner.

9)Limit your passive voice.

Wordy : The total balance due will be found on Page 2 of this report.

Concise : The balance due is on page 2 of this report.

Wordy : The reports are to be submitted by employees prior to 5:00 p.m.; at which                 time they will be received by Ali.

Concise : Please submit your reports to Ali by 5:00 p.m.

Include only relevant material

A concise message should not only omit wordy expressions but also irrelevant statements.

Observe the following suggestions:

1.         Stick to the purpose of the message.

2.         Delete irrelevant words and rambling sentences.

3.         Omit information obvious to the reader.

4.         Avoid long introductions, unnecessary explanations, pompous words and gushy    politeness.

5.         Get to the important point tactfully and concisely.

Example:

Wordy: We hereby wish to let you know that our company is pleased with the confidence you have reposed in us.

Concise: We appreciate your confidence 

Avoid unnecessary Repetition

Unnecessary repetition leads to dullness. The message becomes wordy and boring. Here are some suggestions.

1) Use short names when you have mentioned the long one once. For Shaukat Khanum Memorial Cancer Hospital, use Shaukat Khanum or simply the Hospital.

2) Use initials instead of repeating long names. Instead of using Pakistan International Airlines, use PIA.

3)

Cut out needless repetition of phrases or sentences.

Sometimes it is possible to combine two or even three sentences using subordinate clauses or phrases.

Example:

The following letter is an example of unnecessary repetition.

  Will you ship us some time, anytime during the month of October would be fine, or even November if you are rushed (November would suit us just as well, in fact a little bit better) 300 of the regular Dell Computers.

            Thank you in advance for sending these along in parcel post, and not in express, as express is too expensive.

Concise Version of the Letter:

Please ship parcel post, before the end of November 300 Dell Computers.

Use one word in place of phrases; one sentence in place of two. Read out loud to listen for wordiness. Omit outdated trite expressions. Ask yourself: what material is really relevant? Look for unnecessary repetition: Does the same word or idea appear too often?

  

Recognizing incorrect words

 

1.      Simple words.

Rewrite the following sentences, substituting simple words for the underlined words and phrases in the sentences

 

      A conference call will afford us an opportunity to interrogate the numerous remuneration proposals and consummate the rumors.

2. Concise words. Delete the extra words and rewrite these sentences.

      I want to take this opportunity to thank you for arranging to send me a computer that is exactly identical to the one in my office.

This letter is to acknowledge receipt of and thank you for your check no 389939 in the amount of Rs. 1000.

We have 30 reservations at the present writing, so I am taking the liberty of sending you an updated list.

  

4. Correct words.

Substitute correct words for the underlined words that are incorrect.

      Between you and I she has a long ways to go to be a realtor. Irregardless of the person whom you select, I am real pleased with the candidates. I don’t have but two pair of shoes.

           

Hi / Dear Mr Imran

Thanks / thank you for your recent letter. We were happy / pleased to hear that you are interested in marketing our range of children garments

  

But/however, before we make any firm decision make up our mind, we would be grateful if you would provide us with / give us further information concerning / about the organization of your firm, the territory it covers, the number of retail outlets and your market share.

You would have to get us / we would expect a minimum turnover of 600,000 before being in a position to / we could offer you a agency. We would want to get / we would wish to achieve a market share of at least 10% in the first two years.

Anyway/ this said, if you feel your firm is able to meet these targets it would be nice / it would be useful to arrange an appointment to have a chat about / discuss the project in a bit more detail further.

I will be in Karachi from 5 – 12 May and suggest we meet / get together then, if this is convenient /OK. to you.

Please confirm with my secretary if this is all right / satisfactory.

I look forward to hearing from you in the near future / hope to get a letter from you soon.

Yours sincerely, /All the best

Asif

Courtesy

Courtesy does not mean the use of old-fashioned expressions such as ‘your kind enquiry’, ‘thank you’ and ‘please’. Rather, it is politeness that grows out of respect and concern for others. Courtesy is a quality that enables a request to be refused without killing all hope of future business. Courtesy also means replying promptly to all letters. If you feel your correspondent’s comments are unfair, try to answer tactfully. In short, the whole letter should have a courteous tone. It is not what you say; it is how you say it 

The following are suggestions for producing a courteous tone:

·         Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative

·         Use expressions that show respect

·         Choose nondiscriminatory expressions

Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative.

Sometimes you have to deal with unpleasant messages. Always remember that by using tact and being thoughtful, you can convey anything, however unpleasant it may be, to your readers.

 Tactless: we believe that the extent of your current obligations makes you a bad credit risk.

 Tactless: our credit department believes that, because of your current obligations additional credit might be difficult for you to handle at this time.

Thoughtfulness and appreciation:

Writers who send courteous messages of deserved congratulations and appreciations help goodwill.  

Use expressions that show respect

•        Expressions like, ‘irresponsible’ or ‘I do not agree with’ etc., are annoying. Use expressions that show respect for your reader and help him think positively about your message. Omit irritating expressions such as the following:

Contrary to your inferences              You are delinquent

If you care                                   you claim that

I am sure, you must realize that   you did not tell us

Obnoxious                                   you leave us no choice

Why have you ignored                your stubborn silence

Choose nondiscriminatory expressions

•        Courtesy also requires use of nondiscriminatory expressions that refer to any particular, gender, race, ethnic origin, etc.

Instead of these gender-specific words.	Choose these Bias Free words
Businessman	Business person or business worker
Chairman	Chair, chairperson, worker, employee
Manpower	Worker, employee
Newsman
Newscaster or reporter or journalist
Salesman	Salesperson, sales, representative, agent

Singular Pronoun

He	Plural
Each customer will be notified his bill	Customers will be notified on their bills (rewarded into the plural)

Previously masculine pronoun in expressions like he or his bill was used. The trend today is to avoid using he, him, instead use either he/she, him/her or reword it into plural.

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